Camp Pretty Hill
by eeveekitty85
Summary: Team Rocket find themselves trapped in a terrifying place...Camp Pretty Hill. Can they survive the overwhelming cuteness? Lots of very stupid humour and mild slash references. Yay! HIGH LEVELS OF COMEDY and a touch of lactose intolerance.
1. It's all so darned cute

**Camp Pretty Hill Part One**

**Notes: **OK. This is a sequel to The Drinking Trivia Game, but you don't necessarily have to read Drinking Trivia to understand it. Oh no. Lots of stupid humour. Basically Team Rocket get stuck in a kiddy camp whilst looking for the twerps with no means of escape. Includes Jessie, James, Meowth, Butch and Cassidy, with appearances from Giovanni and Domino, possibly other characters as well. Who knows? Who knows?

Please review when you're done! It infuriates me to see a bucket of hits and a dripping of reviews…it'll only take a minute and it'll make me giggle!

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Today, Team Rocket are going to Camp Pretty Hill.

Do you know how to swear in fourteen different languages?

Cassidy does.

Clever Cassidy.

"I can't believe we got stuck with you two IMBECILES!" yelled Cassidy as they crossed the rickety bridge to the camp.

"Is it murder if she accidentally falls off the bridge because I push her?" snarled Jessie.

"Technically," replied Butch, who couldn't actually see her on account of Cassidy's large and horrible hair being in the way.

"Me and Butch tried ta find a loophole once and got locked up," said Meowth glumly.

"Why do I seem to spend half my life behind bars or getting drunk at them?" moaned Butch. James, who was at the head of the line, stepped neatly off the bridge and tripped over a tree root, exposing his suspiciously hair free legs.

"James, have you been using my epilator again?" demanded Jessie. Meowth groaned as James flushed an intriguing shade of red.

"It's dis sort of ting dat'll cost me thousands in therapy," he said as he stepped on James's head. Finally, they were all over the bridge and walking down the yellow brick road that led to Camp Pretty Hill. James happily took Jessie's hand, even though he actually took hold of Butch's. He didn't notice this however, and began skipping with 'Jessie', singing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'. Meowth also threw back his head to sing: 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road'.

"When we get back to HQ, remind me to confiscate your Elton John CDs," said Jessie, sighing.

They arrived at the camp.

"Excuse me, but have you seen three children and a Pikachu around here?" Cassidy asked the woman at reception.

"Let me check my computer," said the woman in a gruff voice. Under closer inspection, Cassidy noted that she may have once been a man. She had a slight moustache and her name tag clearly read 'Brian'. "They checked out last week."

"This is all your fault!" screamed Cassidy at Butch, who looked very insulted.

"I'm not the one in charge of this mission, OK!" he pointed out.

"Well, who is? Come on, own up! I need someone to blame!" said Cassidy, hands on hips. James rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.

"Lickitung," he read.

"I always hated that Pokemon," said Jessie. "Well, we can't get a return coach for at least another hour, so we might as well look around." She rapped on the reception desk to get Brian's attention. "Excuse me, can I have a camp directory?"

"Hi, I'm Super Happy Sindy!" said a blonde woman in a yellow outfit with a matching sunflower hat.

"And I'm Super Happy Sammy!" said her male companion, who was sadly also sporting the same yellow miniskirt as his partner.

"We're your tour guides!" they said, posing.

"Kill me now," begged Meowth.

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So, guided by the Super Happy Sindy and Sammy, our heroes began to explore the camp, which was very large and green, with many pretty looking stalls and games. It was filled with happy looking children and lots of pink ponies. Flowers grew on the grassy hillside and there were speakers, cleverly concealed, that played authentic bird noises.

Outside the camp boundaries there were a lot of ugly, dangerous looking mountains.

"How can something so pretty survive amongst something so ugly?" wondered James.

"The same way I do," said Cassidy. Jessie, James and Meowth burst into laughter. Butch would have done the same, but Super Happy Sindy had given him a cool glass of milk, and due to his lactose intolerance, his throat was partially closed.

"Dis camp is entirely too pretty and hilly for my taste," said Meowth firmly.

"Well I don't think it's so pretty," said James crossly. "I mean, look at that stall! Red and green should never be seen! It's completely vomitrocious."

"You've been watching too much American TV James," said Jessie.

"What is that stall anyway?" asked Cassidy. "It looks like an old woman sat behind a table."

"It is!" cried Super Happy Sammy. "Well done Cassidy! You can have a sticker!"

"Yippee," drawled Cassidy as Super Happy Sammy got out a smiley face sticker and attempted to stick it to her chest. "Hey! Watch it pal! Only three people are allowed to feel me up, and you're not one of them!"

"Butch, Giovanni…" Meowth counted on his fingers. "And…Jessie?"

"We're not lesbians!" screamed Cassidy and Jessie.

"That's the lady who says something nice about everyone!" announced Super Happy Sindy. "Would you like to go and talk to her?"

"Yay!" said James, dashing over. The rest of the group followed him, in case he got lost or kidnapped. It happened quite a lot. They joined the queue of happy children and their parents who were waiting to see the Nice Lady.

"Check out the guy in the orange suit and his blonde teenage love slave," said Butch, his throat clear again as he pointed. A man was attempting to shoot at a target with a rubber sucker thingy to win a stuffed toy for the blonde next to him. He managed to shoot the stuffed toy.

"Try again!" demanded the girl. She fluttered her eyelashes. "Mr Snuggles and Freddy the Teddy get so lonely, they need that cuddly Raichu. I'll call him Zappy…Get him for me Gio, NOW!" Giovanni slapped down another twenty and took aim.

Butch was now at the front of the queue. The Nice Lady smiled up at him. She was wearing a lot of jewellery and a head scarf with bumblebees on it.

"What's your name, young man?" she asked with a crinkly smile.

"Uh, Butch," said Butch awkwardly as the Nice Lady took his hand and studied it.

"Ah yes, Butch," she said, looking at his palm. "Butch dear, you have a wonderful personality. Don't be afraid to show people the real you. Next!"

"James," said James, giving her his hand.

"You have the sensitive soul of a poet!" marvelled the Nice Lady. "You will draw your friends closer to you." James went off, trying to compose a poem in his head about the wonders of green.

"What is green?" he muttered to a oversized fake caterpillar. "Green is happiness, the smell of fresh air, a green, green frog…or perhaps a pear?"

"I'm Jessie," announced Jessie, thrusting her hand at the Nice Lady.

"Jessie dear, you have courage beyond your years. Protect those you love," said the Nice Lady encouragingly. "But don't scorn them."

"OK…I'll give it a shot," said Jessie thoughtfully.

It was Cassidy's turn.

"Cassidy," she said. The Nice Lady didn't take her hand, only looked at her sadly.

"Don't worry dear," she said. "Your hair doesn't look that bad."

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Well, hoped you enjoyed this first instalment of many…it will be longer than Drinking Trivia. Huzzah!

REVIEW!


	2. I hate canyons

**Camp Pretty Hill Part Two**

**Notes: **Well, I got a very positive response and I'm really really happy! Thanks guys! Let the stupidity commence!

**Tear22: **Ah, my lovely Tear…well, here we are again! Yes, her hair is atrocious (or vomitrocious). Cuss is such a lovely word…it's so American! Women-men are very funny…if your story needs a lift, throw in a tranny! But remember, dearest Tear, it is not comedic genius that led us here, but comedic **value**.

**Stacey: **I can't help but continue! I love writing humour and if I'm making people laugh, then it's a job well done for Eevee! Thanks for your support.

**Banshee: **Yes, Christmas comes early when Eevee writes humour. By the way, I'm giving you a medal for all your wonderful reviews: you rock my socks and I don't care who knows it! So put on your bio: I have won Eevee's Extra Special Wensleydale Cheese of Appreciation for Reviews Award! Then try and say it really fast…see, even my awards have comedic value. Yes, I made it up. Aren't I the absolute biz? And a biz that is most definitely a girl, thank you very much.

**nous reunirons encore: **Hello there! A newcomer! And I see your bio is written in French…well then, here goes… Merci de votre revue aimable. Il est merveilleux que les gens d'autres pays apprécient mon écriture. J'adore la France! Aren't I smart? I know how to use an Internet Translator! (big smiles)

**vicviper-pilot-S213: **I'm a shocking writer, I know…but you liked it? Then stick around my friend!

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"This is the giant ball pit of happiness!" announced Super Happy Sindy as they arrived at, you guessed it, a ball pit. But not just any ball pit. A ball pit guarded by freakishly huge pink and yellow bunnies.

"J-Jessie?" whimpered James. "Why are there…bunnies?"

"Maybe it adds to the happiness factor?" suggested Cassidy.

"I don't like…bunnies…" whispered James, his eyes going wobbly. Jessie sighed. A scornful 'loser' was on the tip of her tongue when she remembered what the Nice Lady had said.

"Don't worry James, I'll protect you," she said dully. James's eyes lit up.

"Really?" he said, clutching her arm. "Will you come on the slide of joy with me too?"

"Don't push your luck, pal," growled Jessie. "Have you guys seen enough? We should leave now if we want to catch the bus home."

"Can't we try out da bouncy castle of absolute fun first?" pleaded Meowth.

"I'm sorry kitty, only humans can go on the bouncy castle of absolute fun," said Super Happy Sammy.

"Your sharp kitty claws might hurt it!" explained Super Happy Sindy. Meowth scowled.

"You ever tried acupuncture?" he asked, his claws gleaming as he advanced on their super happy tour guides.

"It's time to go," said Butch firmly, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck. They turned around to find a wall of menacing looking bunnies blocking their path.

"This is not good," muttered Jessie and James hid behind her legs.

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The Nice Lady looked up to see a large man in an orange suit.

"Hello there young man, what's your name?" she asked pleasantly.

"Giovanni," said the guy in a strangely distorted voice. He gave her his hand expectantly.

"Giovanni, you have a heart of gold," said the Nice Lady, smiling. Giovanni looked alarmed.

"Shush, not so loud," he hissed.

"Stop concealing it dear," she said. He wrenched his hand away and stormed off.

"You can call me Domino, although some know me as 009," said a haughty looking blonde. "But I prefer to keep my true identity a secret." The Nice Lady looked quite afraid.

"I'm sorry dear…" she said, at a loss as to what to say to this obviously purely evil girl. "We're…closed."

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"Charge!" yelled Butch as the gang of Rocket stormed forwards, knocking their way through the line of bunnies.

"Evidently people stay here for a lot longer than a holiday," said Jessie as they tried to find the exit.

"Maybe they turn into those frightful bunnies!" squealed James.

"We need to go faster," said Jessie, looking around for a blissfully happy go kart, or maybe a fun filled trolley. She saw only the pink ponies grazing quietly. "OK, how come there are regular ponies in the Pokemon world?"

"Dey should be Ponyta," agreed Meowth.

"I think the author's taking risks again," said Butch grimly as he vaulted over the paddock wall. "Let's go," he commanded as he leapt onto a pony. It turned it's head and gazed at him blankly.

"I think those ponies are broken Butch," said Cassidy. "Let's just run. The exit's over there and the bunnies are catching up." She pointed behind her. Sure enough, there was a line of furious bouncing bunnies, hotly pursued by Super Happy Sindy and Super Happy Sammy. Super Happy Sammy had laddered his tights.

They dashed for the exit, waving goodbye to Brian as they passed. Soon they found themselves once more at the rickety bridge.

"Wait, I have an idea!" said James, pulling the others behind a large rock. Soon the bunnies came pounding past, piling onto the bridge. It gave an ominous creak. Super Happy Sindy and Super Happy Sammy also ran onto the bridge, which decided to collapse. They heard various crunching noises and bunny screaming as the soft furry things and demented tour guides plummeted into the canyon, never to be seen again.

"Huzzah!" cried Butch.

"Oh great plan James!" fumed Cassidy. "Now how are we meant to cross that massively huge ominous canyon?"

"I'm stupid," said James.

"Who's fault was this!" screamed Jessie. James fumbled in his pocket and got out a piece of paper.

"Lickitung," he read.

"I hate that Pokemon," muttered Jessie.

"Well, it's getting dark and we've definitely missed the bus," said Butch. "Why don't we set up camp?"

"Oh, because that's not horrifically clichéd," drawled Cassidy. "While you're at it, why don't we play Truth or Dare as well? Then get drunk and wake up married to each other."

"That could work," said Butch, sneaking a look at James.

"I have no qualms about that plan," agreed Jessie, sneaking a look at Cassidy. Cassidy and James glanced at each other.

"Am I da only one here who isn't in some perverted love triangle?" wondered Meowth.

"I wouldn't count on it, Sexy Rita," murmured Butch. Meowth decided the best escape was to do something drastic. He got a large rock and knocked himself out. As you do.

The others gazed blankly at him for a while, then started to make a fire.

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"Kum-by-ya my Lord, kum-by-ya!" sang James, horrendously off-key as he strummed an acoustic guitar that had conveniently dropped from the sky a few minutes earlier. "Oh Lo-ord kum-by-ya!"

"Cassidy, why can't I get a boyfriend?" asked Jessie. "I mean, goodness only knows why I'm asking you for advice, but you seem the slutty type. The kind of girl who's had lots of boyfriends."

"Maybe you need to branch out," suggested Cassidy. "Try something new."

"You mean…women?" asked Jessie slowly. Cassidy looked at her.

"No…do you mean women?" she asked.

"No…" said Jessie.

"Good…" said Cassidy. "Neither…do…I…"

"How come we got stuck with gay partners?" asked Butch. James shrugged.

"Works for me," he replied. "If me and Jessie are both gay, we've got just as good a chance of getting together and making wild passionate…" James checked the rating for the story. "…brownies as if we were both straight."

"I'm not sure that's how it works pal," said Butch slowly. James looked blankly at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Butch avoided this long and tedious explanation however by having a long, cool drink of milk. He smiled at James then collapsed onto the ground, where he lay twitching happily in the knowledge that he didn't have to give James 'the talk'.

"Bind us together Lord, bind us together, with cords that cannot be broken," sang James. The author tutted. This was supposed to be a strictly secular piece of fanfiction. James apologised and instead sang a jingle off the radio about cheese that comes in a tube.

"Right, we need to do something," said Cassidy firmly.

"You mean…?"

"No, I don't mean anything lesbianic," she told Jessie. "I mean, we need to get back to HQ, asap."

"Don't use abbreviations in your speech it not good and it's lazy etc etc," said James, tutting. Cassidy blinked.

"Let's just get the hell out of here," she said.

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Another chapter happily completed…I need your reviews! They keep me alive…I'm wilting already…WILTING…


	3. A pointless ending

**Camp Pretty Hill Part Three**

**Notes: **After a period of holidays and severe laziness, I am back once more with another instalment of what I think is already everybody's favourite fic. Am I right or am I right? I think you know the answer.

**Kitty's Katt: **My imaginary friend, Kitty, got confused at your name and thought she had a pet. But NOT TO WORRY! She's recovered now, and unless Crawdie has eaten her, is perfectly fine. Ahh well, sequels always lack that originality, don't they? But I'm glad you find me amusing. Keep reviewing!

**Tear22: **Back again, Teary deary? Very good. Nice discovery…yes, I stole it off Banshee too. Let's hope she won't notice, OK? As always, so complimentary…I feel I should also award you the super special Eevee's Extra Special Wensleydale Cheese of Appreciation for Reviews Award! So it's yours. Stick it on your profile. Keep reading.

**eternalreaperkid: **Thank you for your plural reviews! No, I think they were probably ordered there…I don't know why Butch and Cassidy had to go to. Maybe they'll tell us. Tell us all. Since I will be the last one to know anything, as usual. Oh yes! I had forgotten his usage of 'oooooh!'. Thanks for the recap. I'm not wilting…BUT I MIGHT DO IF I DON'T GET MORE REVIEWS. A pointed comment…but interpret it how you will…NON REVIEWWERS!

**Stacey: **Well, if you had mentioned it, I have no qualms with you mentioning it again. Praise me…but not in a blasphemous way! Yes, he is bad, I've told him before I like to keep things secular. Thanks chickadee!

**Nous reunirons encore: **OK OK! I'll read them! I like reading others' fics. French…the language of lurve…What does that make German the language of? Strudel?

**Banshee: **Banshee dear, you amaze me and make my heart full of love every time you review. Never stop reviewing, or I'll die of a broken heart. Think of the terrible waste of human life and comedic value!

And without further ado or a dog, chapter three!

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"But Cassidy, what could we possibly try that we haven't endlessly tried already?" wailed Butch plaintively.

"We haven't tried anything, Nimbus 2000!" said Cassidy, thoughtfully turning the fic into a crossover.

"A good point well made, but I still don't see what we could possibly do," said Butch.

"There are probably a million useful things that we could do!" said Cassidy.

"I could collect more fire wood?" suggested James.

"That's not one of them James!" yelled Cassidy. James sat down grumpily, hugging his knees and singing 'Amazing Grace' softly.

"What time is it?" asked Jessie lazily.

"About now," replied Meowth.

"That's useful."

"FOCUS!" screamed Cassidy. They all did 'startled fawn'. "Right. Now. We need something long, thick and stable to put across that gaping canyon."

"How do you spell innuendo?" wondered Butch idly.

"Well, now I don't know what to suggest, because I was going to say James, but if it has to be stable…" Jessie trailed off. James was making noises that she foolishly interpreted as thoughtful. "Are you pondering the mysteries of life James?"

"No." Jessie looked at him properly and discovered he was licking his knee. Through his trousers. She screamed an insult at him, abandoning the Nice Lady's advice. James looked offended.

"What?" he said angrily. "I'm not licking _your _knee."

Cassidy lost her temper. She seized Jessie round the waist.

"Hey get off my girlfr—partner!" yelled James, standing up immediately. A million rocketshippers cheered in the background and he looked around, puzzled. Then Jessie uttered a small squeal and he attempted to pull Cassidy off her.

"No don't!" said Butch. "This was getting interesting!"

"You are sick," said Meowth, throwing him a disgusted look. Cassidy suddenly broke away from Jessie and James, leaving them to grapple with each other in a seemingly oblivious way. She held a Pokeball triumphantly in her hand.

"Go Arbok!" she yelled, throwing it to the ground. Lickitung popped out.

"Licki tung tung licki!" it said angrily. (_Isn't it enough you blame me for everything? You have to wake me up as well?_)

"Ooooooh!" exclaimed James randomly, realising that he hadn't said it at all for a while. Nobody paid any attention.

"Jessie, release Arbok for crying out loud so it can lie across the canyon and we can all go home!" yelled Cassidy. She looked close to tears. Jessie pushed James away from her, looking flustered.

"Well why didn't you _say _so?" she said. "Go Arbok!"

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"Oh go ON James!" said Jessie impatiently. "You'll be fine!"

"I'm going, I'm going!" said James impatiently. "I just don't like the idea of slipping off a giant snake and plummeting to my violent and miserable death!"

"You're such a baby," muttered Cassidy. "Butch is already on the other side!"

"What's he doing?" asked Meowth, squinting at Butch. He seemed to be dancing.

"The salsa by the looks of it," said Jessie. "Come ON James!"

"OK, I'm going!" He gulped. "After all…a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do…"

"Yeah, and after that, a woman's gotta do what the man didn't manage," muttered Jessie to Cassidy.

Eventually though, they joined Butch on the other side of the canyon. But they did not join in his dancing.

"I guess this is when we go our separate ways then," said James, looking slightly mournful.

"Like you'll really miss having us around," said Cassidy dismissively. "You'll be perfectly happy by yourselves, pretending not to have a twisted threesome or whatever you guys do."

"We cause trouble!" said Jessie heatedly.

"Make that double!" yelled James.

"Dat's more right that you can shake a stick at!" shouted Meowth. Everyone gaped at him.

"What?" he asked. "Just trying to put in some variety…" Butch smiled.

"See you soon Meowth," he said. He turned to Jessie. "I'll try and get you some more material on Cassidy."

"Thanks Butch," said Jessie gratefully. "You're the perfect blackmail accomplice."

"See you around," said Cassidy. Then she thoughtfully added, "Losers."

But it didn't matter because they all knew they could fight it out next time the author threw them into an absurd (but absurdly funny) situation.

Yeah. They'd get her for it next time.

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Make sure y'all review, you hear? I'll see you in the next dimension…DON'T BE LATE!


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